Day 9

Snowballs & Tapestries

Do you know the saying that we can only see our lives like the underside of a tapestry, but GOD sees it from the top? That HE sees the beauty and the intricateness, but we see the snarls and knots? Well, from my perspective of very poor spiritual vision right now, I'd say my tapestry probably has more thread knotted on the underside than there is on top making anything pretty.

If life were like snow, I don't know if mine would be like a snow ball being packed harder and tighter, or if it's falling apart.  My health reaches its tentacles into every area of my life. I'm not the same person I was. Am I a more godly person? I don't think so. I wish it were so. Can GOD bring something out of it to glorify HIMSELF? Yes. But could YOU hurry up, GOD??? :o)

With everything around the house being broken or ready to be broken (insert Little Man's daily deeds here), with two kids getting ready to graduate after this year, not to mention all that I need to do to prepare for that, seeing if we can afford another car for when B shows her readiness and maturity, trying to decide what to do about Sammy (enter a three digit number here basically any time you go to the vet), paying bills and remembering to pay them, doing daily lessons amidst all the "life" that comes with three teens and a seven year old bundle of testosterone, knowing and hearing about my last grandparent beginning to decline more and being too far away to help any day of the week but wanting so badly to be there, missing some dear friends that I never get to see anymore, hurting all the time, trying to figure out how to teach at co-op well, not getting enough time with my steady, patient hubby, not sleeping well and trying to get everybody where they need to be, I'm not seeing a lot of beauty. Some days I feel like a snow ball that's been slammed onto a brick wall and is doing a fast 90* drop; other days I feel like I'm being crumbled between somebody's mittened fingers - and wool mittens at that. Where's Calgon nowadays anyway?

But GOD still has me here. HE got me through another day. I made it through Wal-Mart while talking to the vet without bawling. I've had the late evening to myself as the kids took a late trip to the grandparents so they can go to a Renaissance Faire tomorrow with their daddy. They made it safely there and were actually going to bed early. Now that's a miracle! :o) My computer hasn't died yet. I got to watch three documentaries that I wanted to watch. I have food to eat. I have an animal on each side of the room snoring away. HE is in the little things, yes indeed.

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