Day 1

GOD knows how much I care about animals. We found these guys TOGETHER in the SAME room at the SPCA. They were unrelated. Frodo was a "surrendered" little man, and Psycho Sam was a stray. We brought them home with us when they were 8 and 6 respectively. Frodo made it to 17 before his little man body gave out from a severe heart murmur and kidney failure. He made it years beyond what the vet thought he would.

We took my man Sam in Monday expecting to come home empty-handed as he had been battling a raging infection and/or severe kidney failure. I stayed home the entire weekend to make the most of the time. But how can you say it's his time when he's trying to get out the door and off the exam table while at the vets? He's nudging my hand and licking me. I was elated to have to ask for all the stuff I'd packed up to give away and already given them! I know he won't be here for many more years. It could be a month. It could be a year.

He's not the same psycho dog he once was. He is still weak. Sometimes he eats; sometimes not. I am giving him sub-q fluids as well as a special diet food and meat to strengthen him back up. We've been supporting the vet heavily these last few days.

Most of our major appliances are on the fritz or have been recently replaced. The carpet needs to be replaced, walls painted, dents patched, electrical work done, well water tested... Outside classes, unexepected but wonderful therapy results...forgetting to pay increasing bills...Oh, how I want to run and hide from all these responsibilities, how I wish I had my "perfect" farmhouse, but...

I have my Sammy for a little while longer. That is the gift GOD gave me this week that warms my heart the most. To hear him snore, to hear him bark at our cat, Snooki, to have to change his diapers once again. The little irritations are really blessings...reminders that life is swift and there are unexpected curves in the road - some sharp and fast. My heart was breaking to know that I was losing my last boy over the weekend. Tears were flowing, heart was ripping as I packed up all the "stuff" we'd accumulated for them.

But GOD gave me a little more time with my Psycho Sam this week.